Family Communication and Conflict Resolution Coaching

For families, siblings, parents, and adult children

Are you an adult child who has been distant or estranged from your parent(s), or a parent who is distant or estranged from your adult child(ren), and you want to see if any mutually helpful conversations can occur or changes can be made to reconnect more openly or with less stress?

Is your family grappling with any of the following?

unresolved or stressful conversations, conflicts, or situations that are interfering with healthy connections between family members
conflicts and differences that need to be respectfully aired or hurtful dynamics that need to be changed
social-political differences that are interfering with your connection
conflicts between two or three family members that are negatively impacting the family as a whole
complicated stressors or painful divisions that are increasing tensions between family members

Do you want a trained and experienced neutral party to help you interrupt unhealthy communication patterns and learn how to address differences and conflicts more respectfully, problem-solve collaboratively, and clearly communicate everyone’s needs and boundaries?

Coaching family members to build and sustain healthy, honest relationships is a very enjoyable, gratifying, and humbling aspect of my career. I have several years of experience helping adult family members build stronger and more honest relationships. I offer family members balanced, mediated conversations to address their conflicts and provide guidance, education, and practical tools to help them move forward and build healthier communication patterns.

Family conflict and communication coaching is for people who want help and guidance with any of the following:

to be heard
clear the air
name your truth and experience about painful and unhealthy interpersonal dynamics
learn concrete communication strategies and skills to express anger and address conflicts more healthily
directly address painful interpersonal dynamics and conflicts with a third party present
shift out of stuck patterns
develop a more productive communication style
work together to resolve or manage a problem
improve relationship connection and increase compassion
define and clarify healthier boundaries
sort out and identify your role in the conflicts, take responsibility, and identify what changes you need and are willing to make

Goals of family members: Family members who choose to do this work typically seek a neutral space to air their grievances, state their angry and hurt feelings, name their boundaries and needs, and express their differing perspectives. Some family members may enter the conversations seeking clarity, amends, understanding, acknowledgment, or changed behavior. Other members may want to repair issues to deepen their relationships. Some family members may want to establish agreed-upon healthier ways of communicating and addressing conflict. In our first meeting together, each person will have the opportunity to state their goals and hopes for the family coaching.

Contact form: Irene Greene MSED

I bring a unique perspective and skill set to my family conflict resolution coaching. I incorporate my twenty-nine-plus years of counseling and coaching experience, my relationship and positive psychology coaching skills and training, my master’s degree in counseling, and my certification trainings in trauma, stress management, and family mediation.

My Step-by-Step Approach

Three reasons my family conflict communication coaching process is unique and successful:

(1) Intentional individualized preparation with each person on the front end:

At the beginning of my work with your family (before we all meet as a group), I will meet with each of you individually two times.

The first meeting is a complimentary and confidential 30-minute Zoom consultation. These meetings allow us to meet and briefly discuss the coaching process. They also provide an opportunity for each family member and me to make an informed decision about whether we want to work together.

If we all decide to move forward, the next step is for each family member to meet with me individually for a 50-minute appointment. In this meeting, we will discuss the goals, concerns, and hopes each person has for the family coaching meetings.

(2) Conflict and communication education and guidance as a family:

We often don’t have the skills or a shared language to express our opinions, perspectives, feelings, and needs or to really listen to others when they express theirs, especially when the situation is emotionally charged. I have developed Communication Guidelines for Engagement that I will discuss with each family member when we meet individually and request that they follow them during our meetings and, ideally, carry them forward once our work together is done.

When we meet as a group, the family will learn about and discuss the concrete conflict-resolution strategies that everyone has previously agreed to. They can then implement those new strategies in the sessions to more effectively address the conflicts. This real-time learning together helps family members develop a shared understanding and language for healthier communication throughout family coaching and beyond.

(3) Families choose their timeline for the process:

My family conflict resolution process offers the option of intensive, longer family meetings over a few days or weeks, or shorter meetings spaced over several weeks or months.

First option: Spacing the meetings out over several weeks. Depending on family size, each person’s schedule, and time zones, family meetings are typically scheduled for 90 minutes each and spaced 1 to 3 weeks apart. I request that family members commit to at least four sessions. After we meet a few times, I will make recommendations on the number, frequency, and length of future sessions. Depending on the issues to be addressed, families typically find 4 to 8 meetings sufficient to learn new communication patterns and to address conflict healthily.

Second option: Family intensives. This option is a variation of the previously stated process. The main difference is that the meetings are scheduled in three to five-hour blocks (with breaks) and over one or two consecutive days. Depending on the family’s needs, there may be 1 to 3 sets of these longer meetings. This option works well if the family members want to really dig into the work, the work is time-sensitive because of an upcoming family event, or it will be challenging to find several overlapping meeting times due to family members’ busy lives or different time zones.

My family coaching style is interactive, collaborative, educational, and balanced. As your family coach, I will provide feedback, observations, several tools, and practical strategies so you can better understand, talk, argue, problem-solve, and listen to each other—even when you disagree.

In our work together, I will:

Customize and tailor the process to fit the needs and concerns of your specific family. I do not utilize a cookie-cutter model of interaction or conflict resolution.
Listen carefully to each of your perspectives about your problems, hopes, needs, and concerns.
Collaborate with each of you to help create a dynamic, safe, balanced, and comfortable setting for you to address your concerns
Encourage each of you to envision together the kind of relationships you want
Help you to resolve the issues that are interfering with your shared vision
Compassionately and directly guide your family through the hard conversations
Give feedback about the unproductive and unhealthy communication patterns I observe and offer in-the-moment strategies for more effective communication
Help you (re)build trust and honesty by learning how to say and hear the hard stuff that otherwise, left unsaid and unheard, erodes connections and builds resentments
Provide templates, homework, worksheets, handouts, resources, and new ways to look at yourselves and your relationship dynamics.
Offer boundary-setting tips and specific language to convey needs and perspectives.

A more detailed breakdown of the steps of the coaching process

At the beginning of my work with your family (before we all meet as a group), I will meet with each of you individually for a complimentary and confidential 30-minute Zoom consultation. These meetings provide the opportunity to meet one-on-one and briefly discuss the coaching process. More importantly, they give us all a chance to determine if we feel a good match to do this important work together.
If we all agree to move forward, the next step is for each family member to meet with me individually for a 50-minute confidential appointment. In preparation for these appointments, I will design a tailored Reflection Worksheet for your family. This worksheet helps each family member identify their specific goals, communication strengths and challenges, the issues they want to address, and their helpful and unhelpful coping strategies when they feel escalated and upset. These meetings help me, as your family communication coach, understand each person’s perspectives, needs, and concerns, and how best to support them. With these pre-group meeting preparation steps, family members report feeling clearer, better equipped, and ready to enter family meetings and begin conflict-resolution conversations.
In these one-on-one meetings, we will also review the communication guidelines I have developed: Communication Guidelines for Engagement, detailed information about the coaching process, and agendas for each meeting.
After the individual meetings, we will schedule the first four family meetings. Each family member will receive the meeting agendas and a description of the process.
Resources: I supply each family member with several communication and conflict-resolution resources, templates, and handouts. I also include a carefully curated list of books, articles, podcasts, and other resources on family conflict and estrangement from the perspectives of parents and adult children.
The meetings will combine discussions of the topics each person has identified with a sort of “on-the-job training” by implementing the new communication skill-building strategies.

Next Steps: If you are interested in more information or want each family member to schedule their complimentary 30-minute consultation, contact Irene Greene, MSED

Conflict and communication coaching for different types of relationships: I offer conflict resolution coaching for families, friends, partners, workplaces, and community groups.

Other points and logistics:

The outcome of the meetings is determined by the parties involved.
The meetings are held on Zoom, using their HIPAA-compliant web and video conferencing platform.
I work with families whose members live in different parts of the USA and beyond. (Before telehealth became a standard communication tool, family members would fly to Minneapolis for weekend intensives and meet here in my offices.)
The meetings are typically scheduled Monday – Friday during regular business hours CST. Evening or weekend meetings are also possible.
Family conflict coaching is not family therapy, mediation, relationship counseling, or group counseling.

If you are interested in more information or want to schedule your complimentary 30-minute consultation, contact Irene Greene, MSED

Irene Greene MSED’s Relationship-Related Coaching Certifications & Trainings

Clinical Foundations in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Levels I and II, The Gottman Institute, 2021
Emotion Coaching: The Heart of Parenting, The Gottman Institute, 2021
PREPARE/ENRICH Relationship Facilitator Certification, 2021
Post-Graduate Certificate in Positive Psychology Well-Being Coaching (PPWBC) National Board Certification Training Program, College of Executive Coaching, 2016 – 2018
Relationship Coach Certification (RCC), International Association of Professional Relationship Coaches, 2016 – 2017
Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP), 2016 – 2017, International Association of Trauma Professionals, Sarasota, FLA
The Power of Mindfulness as Practice Certification, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., 2016 – 2017
Family Mediation Certification – State of MN, Argosy University – 2013

To learn about the individual and relationship, group, and training services offered by Irene Greene, MSED, or to schedule your complimentary 30-minute consultation, contact Irene Greene

Family Communication & Conflict Resolution Coaching