Relationship Coaching

Relationship Coaching

Do you feel like your partner doesn’t listen to you?
Are you and your partner arguing too much? Feeling stuck in blame and resentment?
Are you feeling disconnected and distant from each other?

Are you each feeling unappreciated?

Is it challenging to balance life, work, home, self, and family obligations? Leaving your relationship untended and routine?
Do you want to do your work in a setting that is inclusive and affirming of your sexual and gender identities and relationship composition?

• Are you wanting more concrete strategies, tips and movement?
• Are you wanting to change your communication ruts?
• Are you wanting to improve your problem-solving and goal-setting patterns?
• Are you wanting to acknowledge and utilize your relationship’s strengths?
• Are you wanting to repair and resolve hurts and deepen trust and emotional connection?
• Has affectional or sexual intimacy gotten awkward or unfulfilling?
• Are you trying to decide if you want to stay together? Or respectively transition out? See also Respectful Uncoupling

Relationship help is a brave step to take in the life of a partnership. It can feel challenging, overwhelming and also a relief when partners agree to face their issues together by seeking support from a helping professional.

As your relationship coach, I am committed to helping you learn how to understand, talk, argue and listen to each other with loving kindness, respect, unity and openness – even when you disagree.

I will:

• listen carefully to each of your assessments about your relationship’s problems and needs
• collaborate with you and your partner to help create a dynamic, safe, balanced and comfortable setting for you both to address your concerns
• guide, inform, observe, and teach
• encourage you and your partner to envision together the kind of relationship you want and help you to resolve the issues that are interfering with your shared vision
• help you (re)build trust and honesty by learning how to say and hear the hard stuff that otherwise, left unsaid and unheard, erodes connection and builds resentment.
• offer observations, specific strategies, homework, worksheets, information, resources, and new ways to look at yourselves and your relationship dynamics

Professional relationship work and training

Coaching humans to build and sustain healthy and happy relationships is one of the most enjoyable parts of my job. I have several years of experience helping adults develop stronger relationships. I incorporate my training in relationship coaching and positive psychology coaching, my master’s degree in community counseling, and my certification as a family mediator – as well as my own personal relationship work. For resources that help inform my work, check out the Relationships section of my Recommended Readings list.

Benefits of relationship coaching
When all parties are committed to changing, relationship coaching can help build long-lasting emotional intimacy, increase clearer communication, and strengthen your relationship bond. I find relationship coaching to be fresh, interactive, fluid, collaborative and sustaining.

The Concept of Differentiation as a coaching goal:

Differentiation in this context is the concept of honoring and balancing each partner’s individual identity and needs with “the needs of the relationship”. It is a dedication to each partner developing a strong enough sense of them self as a separate whole person from the other – so they may each, then, generously support the other in being their best version of themselves. This, in turn strengthens the emotional safety, buoyancy and vitality of the relationship (i.e., boundaries, emotional intelligence, caregiving vs care taking, interdependency vs co-dependency).

Create together the relationship that fosters your individuality while also honoring your connection!

Photo by Kimberly Smith

• Build trust that you have each other’s backs
• Talk and listen to each other
• Increase mutual understanding
• Balance individual and relationship needs
• Increase affection and sexual connection
• Work through situations that have caused pain and distrust
• Strengthen trust, mutuality and security
• Learn how to genuinely support each other when one or both is dealing with trauma or difficult family of origin issues
• Work together as a team

Process for out of town clients & local folks

If you are flying in / coming in from out of town it may make more sense to do an intensive (i.e., few hours on Friday night and then more on Saturday). We can discuss the options after I speak with the parties involved.

Otherwise, for local folks, sessions are typically 90 minutes or 75 minutes, usually weekly or bi-weekly. Depending on the issues and needs of the clients, the duration may be 6 – 10 visits. 

All are welcome here

I offer relationship coaching to same-sex spouses, straight couples, and partners who are in open, polyamorous or monogamous relationships, and to folks who are LGBTQIPA2S, cisgender and heterosexual. I work with many folks in poly or open relationships and help them address and negotiate concerns to more effectively balance the relationship’s needs with each other’s needs.

I am affirming of varied sexual activities and interests (i.e., Kink) that may occur between consenting adults and welcome any sexual discussion that could be helpful to the relationship counseling process.

I offer relationship workshops one to two times a year. These sold out workshops are advertised on my website and at Eventbrite.

See the poster of a past workshop called:
Balancing the Needs of You, Me, and Us (PDF)

To learn about the individual and relationship, group and training services offered by Irene, schedule your complimentary 30 minute consultation.